When you are diagnosed with a chronic illness, you feel as though your body is no longer a safe place. At that moment, an invisible grieving process begins – one that is rarely spoken of. It is not grief over a physical death, but over a loss of identity: the feeling of having lost your health, your confidence and, in many cases, your vision of the future.
After more than three decades living with Crohn’s disease — eight operations, fistulas, dependence on corticosteroids and biologic treatments — I can assure you that this grief exists, but also that it is possible to work through it.
- The impact of the diagnosis: Denial and searching
The first reaction is usually denial. There is an unconscious belief that, if you don’t delve deeper into the information, the disease might not exist at all. However, weeks later, we tend to react in the opposite way: we turn to the internet to consume everything (testimonials, complications, prognoses) and end up overwhelmed by fear.
It is a natural process, but we must remember that every patient is a unique individual and responds differently. It is necessary to inform yourself; it is not necessary to become obsessed. The important thing is to accept that your life will undergo changes that will affect your family, work and social circles. The first step is not to give up, but to face the new reality head-on.
- Acceptance and coexistence: The body as a teacher
Acceptance is not resignation; it is learning to live with it. It means stopping fighting every symptom and starting to listen to what the body is trying to say. Over time, you learn to recognise subtle signs — persistent tiredness or unusual swelling — that signal a flare-up. That knowledge, though born of suffering, becomes a tool for control and strength.
At this stage, it is vital to understand that you are not alone. An invisible illness hurts more when those around you do not understand it. Sharing fears and experiences with people who speak your ‘language’ helps more than we realise. That is why patient associations are essential: they offer refuge, guidance and a sense of community. There, you discover that your emotions are normal and that a conversation with someone who has already walked the path can sustain you more than any technical explanation.
- Reinvention: Thriving in a different way
In the final stage of grief, you realise that, even if there is no definitive cure, you can learn to live more mindfully. Your body no longer responds in the same way and the pain can rob you of energy or confidence, but this brings about a profound shift in your priorities.
The little things take on immense value: a warm hand, an unexpected gesture from a child, or a pain-free day. It is true that the life you imagined is lost, but in return you gain a quiet strength and a deep wisdom. You learn that you do not need grand gestures to feel alive; sometimes, a quiet walk or a meal that feels good is enough.
Crohn’s disease may disrupt your routines and reshape your dreams, but it doesn’t have to rob you of your whole life. Beyond the denial and fear, a humble truth emerges: you won’t be the same person again, but you have the power to reinvent yourself and flourish in a new light.
Covi Sánchez
(Crohn’s patient 😉)